Five Thing Friday, 07.31.2015

1. I went back to hot yoga for the first time in like 4 months. My sister wanted to try it out so I figured that was the kick in the pants I needed to stop being lazy. I thought she was going to hate it because when we walked in she made a face and mouthed “it’s so hoooot” but luckily she enjoyed it so hopefully we keep it up. (Nic – now it’s blog documented so we have to go.)

2. I’ve been spending my evenings by the pool lately which I can’t complain about. 

(Not hot dogs, but would be nice if they were.)

3. Am I the only person who doesn’t use Pinterest very much anymore? I opened my app the other day and was greeted with a new (to me) option to purchase things directly from Pinterest. With just 2 clicks. This is a horrifying idea. That’s just what I need – the option to be so lazy that I can buy crap I can’t afford using only my thumb.  

Introduce a feature that will deliver those cinnamon buns I’ll never make to my door. THAT I would pay for.

4. I had the unfortunate pleasure (it’s a thing) of watching Celebrity Wife Swap which featured 2 Bachelor couples – Sean & Catherine and Jason & Molly. Sean was painted as a controlling husband who makes his wife iron his socks. Sean is, as predicted, a worse actor than someone on a Flonase commercial, so it was very obvious that this was staged. Viewers were hate-tweeting him because I guess some people take Bachelor contestants seriously. Sean had to write a blog response. Seanie. Is it ridiculous that they made you look like that? Yes. Did you agree to do it and receive compensation? Yes. So shut the fuck up.

5. Is there anything more beautiful? 
Answer: No

I Went to Advanced Auto Parts and All I got was a Bruised Ego

I know very little about cars – like the bare minimum so I can operate a motor vehicle. One of my headlights went out last week and I was so annoyed because it meant another stupid car thing to deal with. (File under: Things that are not a big deal but I turn into a massive deal.)

Tim was kind enough to search for and send me a video detailing every single step (Literally, every step. I do know how to pop my hood but I appreciated the instruction, kind YouTube stranger.)

I watched the video and was like oh hell yes, I can absolutely do this. Get outta my way, everyone. I gotta get to Advanced Auto Parts and get my new bulb and replace it myself like a grown ass adult.

I found the correct bulb that I needed, number 9006 (IMPORTANT INFO). Still, I was second guessing myself because I’m car stupid, remember? So, I decided to confirm with the nice 17-year-old boy at the counter.

Stereotypical Dumb Girl in Dress, Coming from Work: Can you just check that this is the right one?
Teenage Boy with Glasses and Acne who Dumb Girl Apparently Trusts More Than Herself: Sure. *type type type type type*
Smart Boy: No, you need the 9005, not the 9006.
Dumb Girl: Are you sure? Because the one you’re pointing to says it’s for high beam. I don’t need that.
Smart Boy: Yeah, the 9005 will work for both.
Dumb Girl Who Was Even More Dumb Because She Knew That Made Absolutely Zero Sense But She Decided to Listen to Him Anyway: Alright…

I had planned to do this right in the parking lot before heading back to work, so I made sure to park in the most secluded area so no one could watch me do this and make a fool of myself. I walked back to my car and nearly cried when I saw a nice middle-aged man covered in tattoos working on his car. I barely got my hood popped before he immediately asked if I needed help. PREJUDICE.

I declined his help because I was being super cocky and in an “I don’t need no man” mood.

Independent1 Independent2 Independent3 Independent4

Anyway, I swiftly removed the dead bulb and inserted the new one. Almost there! (During this time, tattooed man asked if I needed help 3 times. SO RUDE.) When I tried to snap the bulb back into place, it would not budge. It wasn’t just my lack of knowledge or strength – it just didn’t fit.

Bruised Ego, Needs Help Girl: Ugh, I might need to take you up on that help.
Proud Tatted Up Car Guy: Hahaha, okay. *Fiddles for 3 seconds and gives up* They gave you the wrong bulb.

I KNEW IT!

I went back in and the cashier formerly known as “Smart Boy” said, “oh, I’m sorry, you were right!”

No shit.

I went back and put in the correct bulb in 20 seconds, sans help from tattooed gentleman.

I thanked him for his help and as I was getting in my car he said “No problem. If you’re not changing both now, just make sure you keep the second bulb in your glove compartment.”

I mean….

I’m dumb when it comes to cars. But I’m not THAT dumb.