The Bachelor Ben, Week 6: Everyone Loves Ben

We picked up right where we left off last week. Since when was Olivia so mean to Emily? She claims she was so disrespected and said that the “Teen Mom” joke was the most offensive joke she’s ever heard in her life. I mean, it was offensive but I’ve heard far worse jokes in my life. Plus, it wasn’t directed at her.

Anyway, Ben asked Olivia what her side of the story was because he’s an idiot and still thinks she’s normal. She said she likes to talk smart and apparently Ben accepted that answer. On to the Bahamas, we go!

One-on-one Date

The date card read “Let’s see if love is reel” and it took all 10 girls to figure out what that spelling of reel meant. Caila got the date and Leah was upset because she hadn’t had time with him and cried “I don’t know why I’m here.” None of us do, Leah. Her sob fest continued while we watched Caila and Ben fish and swim on their private boat. Ben said he was worried because Caila is always smiling and he wants someone who will cry with him. He asked her to open up and she told him that she loves him but she’s not able to open up. NOT WHAT HE MEANT, CAILA.  She said she felt like she was falling in love because she felt understood. Except, literally no one understands you.

Group Date

Lauren B., Becca, Amanda, Jojo, Lauren H., and Leah when to a private island where they were greeted by pigs. Pigs can swim!? This is the first time I’ve learned something from this show and I’ve been watching since I was fifteen.

The Bachelor Ben Pigs

Ben was giving Lauren B. a lot of attention and Jojo told him they were all upset because they’re not used to putting in any sort of effort to get someone’s attention so they’re all out of their comfort zone. WOE IS YOU, JOJO.

Ben asked every girl if they were all okay and they all responded “Yup. I’m fine.” Bitches weren’t fine and every one of them ended up crying about the fact that they didn’t get enough attention from Ben. Leah told Ben that Lauren B. was not the same with Ben as she was in the house which was basically her sad attempt to get rid of her since he obviously likes her the most. Leah flat out denied saying anything. Maybe that’s why Ben doesn’t want to get to know you, you lying liar who lies. Amanda got the group date rose.

Leah went to Ben’s room to talk more shit about Lauren B. and Ben was not having it. He told her that something didn’t feel right and he ended up sending her home. Way to fuck it up for yourself, Leah.

Two-on-One

Emily and Olivia got the two on one date and Emily acted as though she was going to battle for everyone. Olivia told Ben she was in love with him. What is wrong with all of these crazies!? TOO. SOON. He sent Olivia home because he couldn’t reciprocate those feelings and gave the rose to Emily instead. They took off in a boat and let Olivia to freeze alone on an island with an impending hurricane.

Lauren H. got the boot and based on the previews it looks like Ben is going to pull a Jason and Molly Mesnick.

Five Thing Friday, 02.05.2016

1. I feel like death today. I went out for a drink last night and didn’t get to sleep until 12:30 which is unheard of for me on a school night. Or any night, for that matter. 

2. 45 Signs You’re an Old Millenial – But guys. I definitely had a Xanga ughhhh. Which I guess makes sense if you think about it now… 

 
3. I have 4 brown bananas on my counter. Banana bread? Or do any of you have more exciting recommendations on what to do with them?

4. I guess the Super Bowl is this weekend. I remembered because I was asked to plays squares with work peeps. I won last year so here’s hoping I have the same luck on Sunday.  

5. TGIF for reals today. Going bridesmaid dress shopping this weekend so basically all my favorite people will be in one place.