Exercise is Hard

I’m going through one of those phases where it’s like “Okay, you’ve literally had some sort of cake/ice cream/cookie/candy every day for the past 2 weeks. It’s time to reel it in.”

I miraculously still fit it in my pants but I don’t want to press my luck so I’m finally starting to do some physical activity again. I mentioned that I tried hot yoga last week and it was phenomenal. The particular class I went to was definitely not geared towards weight loss. It was more of a let’s stretch your muscles since you haven’t used them since 2014, you lazy ass. I loved it. I had to refrain from giggling a lot because it’s just awkward (we “ommmmm”-ed at the end) and I think I’m a little too high strung to completely immerse myself into the experience and forget about all of the other (insignificant) crap I have on my mind. It’s definitely relaxing and it gives me an excuse to wear my yoga pants, so that’s a plus.

LeggingsAsPants

Apparently I’m in a phase where I want to try every type of exercise there is. I tried a Tabata (or HIIT? I don’t know the difference and I don’t really care) workout last night and at first glance I thought there was no way it could affect me in any way. I’ve never been more wrong about something in my entire life. I didn’t even do as many reps as recommended. Who knew 10 minutes could feel so HELLISH!?

My motivation for physical activity is so fleeting so I need to take advantage of it while I can. I want to try spinning but I also enjoy being able to breathe and walk, so maybe not.

The Bachelor, Week 9: Women Tell All About Their Insecurities

Before last night’s “Women Tell All” episode I saw Chris Harrison’s tweet and got so excited for the garbage that was to come.

Instead, the show began and we watched Harrison and Farmer crash Bachelor viewing parties for 10 minutes of my life that I’ll never get back. Apparently, we needed to be “locked and loaded” to watch people inaccurately describe Chris as attractive.

Britt and Carly hashed it out while Britt, a grown woman, cried because she thought she was besties with Carly, a woman she’s known for three weeks who actually hates her. Jillian jumped in to attack and made it all about her because apparently Carly “talked trash” about her to Chris by saying that she is a man. No one stopped her from screaming at Carly because she was so frightening. We learned that Carly may have been a little more fake with Britt about their friendship, but it just annoyed me that Britt thinks she’s so perfect that the only possible reason Chris sent her home was because of what Carly said. I’m still team Carly. I’ll just never trust a person who can cry for 20 minutes with a full face of make-up and unwashed hair and still look like this.

Britt ended her Q&A by admitting that she thinks Carly totally sabotaged her chances with Chris. She claimed that if that didn’t happen, she’d still be with Chris which is just so LOL because how cocky are you? That’s such a slap in the face to Whitney and Becca who are one thousand percent both better fits for the boring Farmer.

Kelsey was up next to talk about her tragic but “amazing” story. Call me crazy, but I wouldn’t call a story about my husband dying “amazing.” Scratch that – call Kelsey crazy, not me. Kelsey cried without tears and then asked Chris Harrison for his silk handkerchief to wipe her invisible snot. She said she thought the women didn’t like her because she uses big words. I wish someone would explain to her that people don’t dislike you because you use big words; they dislike you because you think they dislike you because you use big words. Also, you don’t actually use big words at all.

If possible, she pissed me off even more during this episode. The fact that her husband died is horrible. The fact that she glorified his death on national television is – to use her word – despicable.

Ashley Onion was up next and it was confirmed that she’s definitely just very quirky. She admitted that she just didn’t do well dealing with being in front of the cameras constantly. Chris Harrison begged her to be on Bachelor in Paradise and she didn’t answer and instead commented on how weird it is that they’re all on TV. Yes, yes it is, girlfriend. I really hope she decides to do the show.

Jade was in the hot seat next and we were given another reminder to Google “Jade Playboy,” while she cried to Harrison about how Farmer “blogged” about being disturbed after meeting her family because the Jade he knew was much different than the one her brothers described. I had to put “blog” in quotes because I’m willing to bet that the gentleman who can’t speak in full sentences most certainly can’t write them. Note to Jade: he probably never said any of the crap you read since he can’t write.

Kaitlyn was up next and we recapped their journey which only proved that Kaitlyn has a personality and Chris does not. She chatted with Harrison about how blindsided she was when Chris dump her. Kaitlyn kept quiet among the drama with the other girls, and stayed classy during her interview, so she must be the next Bachelorette. Too many people now hate Carly, Jade would get too many perverts applying, and Britt needs to be able to speak without crying before she can date 25 men at once.
😭 will flow.

True to form, the entire “Women Tell All” was a gold mine of entertainment until Farmer came out to remind us that this season is about who can be the most boring.

Britt spoke with Farmer first and she was (not surprisingly) so annoying. She hugged him for an awkward amount of time and then basically made it seem like she needed to give him her blessing to move on from her. He broke up with you and is probably engaged, you ass. I was so happy he clarified that the reason he sent her home had nothing to do with Carly. She continued to cry for the rest of the night while her make-up remained in tact like some sort of witchcraft.

Kaitlyn grilled Farmie about making her sit through the rose ceremony rather than sending her home beforehand. I understood her point, but it doesn’t seem like Chris had been clear enough about any of his decisions before Chris Harrison trots out with the roses. Count your blessings, Kaity.

Jade questioned Chris‘ blog post. I honestly have no idea what he responded because I was more outraged at the fact that they were holding hands the entire time. Aren’t you engaged, dude? I would have been livid if I were Whitney and/or Becca. Don’t mind me, I’m just comforting my ex girlfriend. Hold on, let me rub her shoulder as well. Jade also questioned his use of the word “awkward” to describe her Playboy photos so I guess she was just mad that he didn’t immediately tell her how smokin’ hot she was.

I’m already dreading wasting 3 hours of my life on this God-forsaken show next week.

These reaction shots are everything.

But, I’ll do it. You bet your ass I’ll do it.