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The Bachelorette, Week 7: This is a MANNNNN

July 1, 2014

In Belgium, the 6 final jackasses announced that they were 100% certain that they were the one for Andi. Look, I’m no mathematician, but I think – I think – at least 5 of them have to be wrong. Probably 6, though.

Three weeks ago Marcus told Andi that he had considered leaving 3 weeks before that (AKA he thought about leaving after the first week). Andi will not accept anyone not loving her, so she gave Marcus the first one on one date to reel him in and then probably kick him to the curb. Fortunately for everyone, Marcus has been journaling throughout the whole process so he was able to remember how he felt 3 days earlier and told Andi that he was falling in love with her. Whatever – at least he looked at her when he said it, unlike most people on this show who look at the ground. Andi kept asking what his mom would ask her if she met her. What? Are you an alien? Haven’t you met a person for the first time before? It’ll probably be like that. We found out that Marcus was beaten as a child but now has a good relationship with his mother. Good for him. The only thing that baffled my mind was that he said he hated their relationship while he was in his twenties, but he’s 25 sooooo yeah. Marcus told Andi that he never felt this way about a girl before and she was like YEAH. THAT IS A MANNNNN. They’re all men – weird ones – but they’re all men, k Andi?

The serial killer Nick decided that he simply could not go another minute without creeping everyone out so he decided to go see Andi in her room after her date. He went to the concierge, gave Andi’s name, and got her room number in 30 seconds. I hope this girl got fired after this episode aired. Let’s amp up the security shall we? They went for a walk and Nick was cute because he was so nervous and Andi had never seen him like that before. Cute. Frightening. Same thing.

On Andi’s date with Josh she kept saying that she wanted him to be more open. I despise Josh. If Nick weren’t here, he’d be the one that everyone hates, but luckily Creeps McGee takes the heat off of him. Regardless, I don’t think he’s holding back any more than the other guys. Andi is just pissed that he’s the only one who hadn’t said he was falling in love with her, so she decided to beat it out of him.

Paraphrased:
Andi: So what do you think your mom will say? (seriously, what is with her obsession?)
Josh: Um, she’ll probably ask how I feel about you.
Andi: Yea what’s that?
Josh: That I have very strong feelings for you and I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.
Andi: Yea, but what will you say?
Josh: Ummm that I’m falling in love with you?
Andi: OHEMGEEEEEEE I AM SO SHOCKED. I HAD NO IDEA THAT WAS COMING AND DIDN’T FORCE YOU TO SAY IT!!! 🙂 🙂 🙂

I seriously loved Andi when she told off JP and now I can’t stand her. They made out (LOUDLY) and then swayed on a podium around a bunch of people who were pissed because they came to enjoy a concert, not a circus.

For the group date, Andi made the 4 guys (3 of which have zero chance of being with her) rail bike on some trail while she sat being a lazy POS and made fun of them for being out of breath. Do it yourself. This date was dumb. My only though during the whole thing was how weird it was that Nick and Josh are both obsessed with scarves and those are her top two right now.
nickandjoshscarf

 

Looks like someone hasn’t learned from her mistakes.

I honestly stopped paying attention during this date because it was sooo boring and Dylan’s hair wasn’t greasy (LOL just kidding – of course it was). I looked up and saw Andi and Chris reenacting the pottery scene from Ghost. You people horrify me. Brian told Andi he was falling in love with her and I cringed because there is just no way she feels the same way. Andi gave Nick the rose which he chose to interpret as her telling him that she loves him. Mmmmmk. (Side note: Why are these dudes  ALL throwing out I love yous!? This doesn’t normally happen until it’s down to like 3. Bros be cray). The other 3 were sent home while Andi and Nick had a private date. They were all so pissed and went back to complain to Josh and Marcus. I’m not sure why Dylan thought he had any right to be upset since I don’t think he had spoken to Andi in 3 weeks.

Nick came back and they all attacked him and kept saying what an awful person he was because he knew so much about previous seasons. I clearly don’t like Nick, but I don’t think that makes him a bad person, I just think that makes him weird. Can someone tell him to stop looking up form under his eyes like that? It does NOT help his creepy factor.The Bachelorette Season 10, Episode 3 - nick

Andi told the guys she totes knows her husband was in that room because “the things that you guys say and the way that you guys feel” make her confident. So articulate. Much brains.

To no one’s Brian’s surprise, Brian, Dylan, and Dylan’s hair went home. Josh kissed everyone goodbye. Andi Sobbed. Brian cried. Dylan fake cried – he definitely knew he was going to leave.

My most important final thought? Can we turn off the mics when the constant lip smacking is happening? It’s so disturbing. Oh, and Chris upside down smile farmer goes home next week. This is too easy. Call me Miss Cleo.

I don’t even know what to say about this stupid show any more so I leave you with this sweet deep V.

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