celebrities | Humor | TV

The Bachelorette, Week 9: Annoying Men Tell All Uninteresting Things

July 25, 2014

We interrupt your regularly scheduled “Five Thing Friday” so I can stay on top of my Bachelorette recaps.

This “Men Tell All” episode was going to be a snooze fest, and they knew it, so they had Ashley and JP on the show to not only talk about their pregnancy, but to do a live ultrasound. What the hell is wrong with people? It was so bizarre. I won’t even mention the fact that she was wearing a dress with a slit down her stomach. Oh wait, yes I will mention that.

They discussed the whole “blackies” thing because it was the only source of any drama on the show. I mean, obviously Andrew said it – or something to that effect. They played the clip but had “no audio.” Yeah, okay. The producers just needed to spin this on Andrew because they are avoiding the fact that the show is indeed incredibly racist. Black bachelor anyone? Never. They’re just trying to cover their own asses because Andrew probably made the comment in a “wow, that never happens on this show” kind of way, but they can’t make themselves look bad, so let’s make this poor guy nearly lose his job.

Marquel was in the hot seat. It was boring. He gave out cookies. The end.

Marcus went in the hot seat next. He seemed so depressed about Andi still. He is definitely still obsessing over it. Just stop, dude. She’s annoying. He’s going to be on Bachelor in Paradise so all of you Marcus lovers can rejoice.

Chris the upside down smile farmer went in the hot seat next. He will not be on the paradise stupidity which leads me to believe that he will in fact be the next bachelor. Which leads me to believe that it will be the least watched season of this show. He is so damn boring. They had some woman from the audience act like she wanted to go on a date with him to try to butter us up to he idea of a boring ass bachelor. Ugh.

Andi came out and gave every single guy generic answers about why she sent them home, AKA “it just wasn’t there.” Thanks for the closure, Andi. I can’t wait til we don’t have to deal with her selfish antics anymore.

Join me Monday night in hating everyone.

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