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The Bachelorette, Week 4: Onions, Crazy Eyes, and Creepy Nick

June 9, 2015

Last night, Kaitlyn got some liquid courage and stumbled off to have a slurred conversation with Clint about his disturbing slicked back hair. Unfortunately the hair chat didn’t make it on air but it must have happened. Instead, Clint talked about his strong connection with JJ while Kaitlyn explained that his was about her connection with him, not his connection with his boyfriend. Kaity sent him home and JJ told Clint he needed to apologize, which resulted in heartbreak for both men.

The bros fought and it was clear that their relationship was over. JJ sobbed, his back turned to the camera in dramatic fashion, while we heard muffled laughter coming from the gentlemen inside.  Finally, he slapped himself on the face and demanded he “suck it up.” I really hope these two can work out their differences and end up together – Clint and JJ that is.

Kaitlyn decided that she didn’t want to have a rose ceremony because she had such a great group of guys in front of her which was incredibly confusing since people like JJ and no-shave love man were still there so I’m not sure how much she’s been paying attention the past few weeks. Also, since when can you just make up rules and not have a rose ceremony??

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Group Date #1

Chris Harrison creepily announced that the guys were to pack their bags because they would “never be returning to the mansion.” DUN DUN DUN. First up, NYC which makes me shed tears because they were filming within driving distance of my home and I didn’t know and therefore, did not go. UGH.

Anyway, since Kaity totes love rapping, she invited Doug E Fresh to lead them in a rap battle. I just kept picturing her saying I’m not like a regular white girl- I’m a cool white girl a la Mean Girls. 

All of the raps were, as predicted, horrifying. I did appreciate Corey (whoever the hell he is) calling out JJ on all his douchey shit. Fast forward to the end when Kaitlyn said hi to Crazy Ashley Kardashian in the audience and saw Nick there. She was flipping out and was so confused because they have a pretty serious friendship via Twitter but have never spoken in person but she most def has a crush on him. Mmk.

Nick explained that he had to show up because he could not deal with “the idea that you could potentially be engaged and I never met you.” Could you imagine if someone said that in real life?? I’ve never met you but couldn’t let you become engaged without showing up on one of your dates. What a creep. I don’t understand why Kaitlyn was so confused about what to do. Run, you idiot. Aren’t you and Andi like besties? Surely you’ve heard horror stories! She decided to talk it over with the 14 guys since they’re super unbiased. They were obviously upset so she went and talked to Nick and made out with him to get some clarity. Hey K, maybe phone a friend and see what Andi has to say! Instead, she decided that she wanted to “sleep on it” before making a decision.

The next morning, Kaitlyn called Nick and told him she wanted to talk to him in person but first she needed to get her hair done by none other than Onion Ashley S!

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Onion actually had some pretty intelligent things to say regarding lust and love, which Kaitlyn just completely ignored and decided to take her own advice instead. She met Nick later and sighed a lot before finally telling him that she wanted him to stay.

One-on-One Date

Jared met Kaitlyn at the Met and it was so sad because he was so excited and she couldn’t even pay attention to what he was saying without asking how he felt about Nick. This was the first time I didn’t think Jared was super creepy all season. He was totally cool and was like well this is about you so while is not ideal, I understand you have to do what is best for you. Mad chill love man, but please still fix your patchy facial hair. She gave him the rose and then they took a helicopter ride over the city, obvi.

Group Date #2

Kaitlyn thought it would be a good idea to make the guys audition for Aladdin. This show is just killing it with the date ideas. They were all supremely awful. Ian could sort of carry a tune more than the rest of them but let’s not go around broadcasting this as a “hidden talent” anymore, buddy. The cupcake dentist was said too be “too animated” which I’m pretty sure is impossible on Broadway so that should give you an idea of how “into it” he was. In the end, over-animated cupcake dentist for the role. By “role” I mean obnoxiously walk on stage grinning when you probably shouldn’t be. I won’t judge – I would eat that date right up, too.

While the guys brainstormed what to say when Nick walks in, AKA Human Interaction: 101, Kaitlyn and Cupcake dentist made out by the NYE Ball in Times Square. The episode ended just as things were about to get juicey when Nick greeted everyone with “Sup guys?” as he walked through the door. The producers need to thank him for bringing a small bit of entertainment to this season.

Not to be outdone, Britt and Brady updated us on the fact that they are still BFGF. Im calling it now that he proposes on the after the final rose episode.

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  1. I just want to say, that I gave up the Bachelor after Andi’s season…
    A large reason for this was because I loved Nick.
    #TeamNick

    butttt…. I’m not a real fan of Kaitlyn.

    Maybe I’ll just file for divorce and show up on their one-on-one demanding that I wasn’t able to sleep at night not knowing if I had a chance…

    1. I loved Nick at first but he just gave me weird weird vibes towards the end of Andi’s season (which were heightened last night).

      I also loved Kaitlyn but this season is making me want to punch her, which I think ends up happening with everyone on the show.

      Skip the divorce and still show up – THAT I would watch.

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