Entertainment | Humor | TV

The Bachelor Ben, Week 8: Jojo Won’t Get Hurt Because Looks are Everything

February 23, 2016

Ben thought about the remaining “sophisticated” four women while wearing tight capris on a rock on the beach. Amanda met him there and soon enough her daughters showed up. Her kids were adorable, but at some point, Ben removed the bottom of his capris and we saw way more thigh than we bargained for. Bachelor Ben Thigh

After the beach they went to see the rest of Amanda’s family and everyone was wondering if Ben was too young to be a Dad, which was odd because Amanda is like 24 years old.

Ben went to Lauren’s hometown in Portland which is apparently the city of roses. The only thing I kept thinking about during this was how much I want to go there so I an have a bread bowl with a pool of melted butter in it – because that’s what they ate. I think there was cheese, too. They then went to a whiskey library which is apparently a thing. Lauren’s sister asked Ben was makes Lauren stand out and Ben responded “I just feel really lucky” and started crying.

 Sister B was happy with that response for some reason. Lauren’s Dad wasn’t as impressed with Ben because he’s not an idiot and knows he’s telling 3 other families how great their daughter is. Lauren blabbed on the entire time about how much she was in love with Ben and couldn’t wait to tell him and at the end of it, she chickened out. Ugh.

Next up was Caila’s hometown. She took Ben to a toy factory where her dad is CEO to build a toy house because everyone on this show is like 12 years old.
Bachelor Ben and Caila Toy House.png
The only thing I got from this was that Ben carried her through the warehouse while annoyed employees looked on as they were trying to do their job. Caila told us that she “knows” she is going to marry Ben. She must not “know” how much he loves Lauren. Caila cried to her Dad and his orange trousers about how much she loved Ben and knows he’s what she’s been looking for “her whole life.” You’re a child! What whole life?? Her mom told her to go “jump on him” and tell him that she loves him. Caila did just that. #MomOfTheYear

Jojo is what we were all waiting for – DRAMA. Within minutes of being home, she opened a love letter from her ex-boyfriend thinking it was actually from Ben.
Bachelor Jojo Chad Letter.pngOnce she realized it was from CHAD, she started sobbing. Jojo felt the need to call Chaz for closure and he told her that he loved her and wanted her back. Jojo was still crying when Ben showed up in his cable knit cardigan. She told him that she was only upset because she’s the happiest she’s ever been. Oh, okay. Apparently she told Chaz that she was over him and was happy with Ben now.

The whole ex thing was irrelevant once Jojo’s family got to do the talking. Ben told her brothers that he’s not sure about his relationship with Jojo but super confident that they will have a lot of conversations. Just what a protective brother wants to hear. Jojo told her mom that she was scared she was going to be hurt because there were still three other girls left. Her mom’s botox lips responded “oh.” Did she not understand the premise of the show? She also told Jojo she wouldn’t be hurt because she’s beautiful which is helping me understand why Jojo is on this show…

The brothers continued to grill Jojo and tell her that it’s ridiculous that she could already feel this strongly for Ben AKA they are normal. This continued and Jojo’s mom apparently couldn’t handle it and needed to drink directly from the champagne bottle. No one got punched so it wasn’t as exciting as I was hoping for. 

Rose Ceremony

Ben sent Amanda home. She was understanding but she was like maybe you could have just ended it when I was already home rather than make me leave my children again just to send me home. Fair point, girlfriend. Ben cried some more after she left. What a baby. I can’t wait to see what tears we have in store the next few weeks!

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  1. That letter from “Chad” looks like the same writing as all the group date cards they get. Pretty sure he’s picking Lauren at this point. Caila seems too young (or maybe it’s because they built a toy house that I think that). And Jojo’s brothers just scared him away. Meanwhile, Lauren’s sister should probably be the next bachelorette….errr I mean I don’t watch this show….

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