Entertainment | Humor | TV

The Bachelor Ben, Week 11: Everyone is Blessed

March 15, 2016

Lauren was thrilled to wake up and gaze at the sky in her jorts because she knows Ben loves her. Jojo was also thrilled to gaze at the water in her jorts because she knows Ben loves her. Hmmm.

The Bachelor Ben Lauren.png

Ben told us his head was a mess and he never saw this coming. Does he still not know he’s on a television show? Anyway, he said he’s torn because he thought he was unlovable and now there there are TWO women who love him! Seemed pretty unlovable to me at the moment but what do I know?
Friends - Two Women Love me Chandler

He told his parents that he loved both Lauren and Jojo and his mom had to stop herself from rolling her eyes. She also almost snorted when Lauren told her that Ben is “seemingly perfect.” I like you, Amy. Lauren told Ben she was ready to get engaged. Girlfriend has been pinning and she’s getting impatient waiting for the ring.

Jojo cried talking to Ben’s parents. Amy liked Jojo more than Lauren and made it very obvious that that was the case. Ben made it seem like they were on the same page which is such a douchey move. His parents kept talking about how he’ll be blessed and lucky no matter who he chooses. Yeah, I’d love a proposal mere minutes after my fiance’ told someone else he was in love with her.

Bachelor Ben - Ben's mom Amy.png

Ben and Lauren had one final date and Lauren just knows Ben soooo well and she could tell that something was on his mind. Wow, you are so smart. He basically told her that their relationship had been too perfect and that scares him. I wonder if 10 weeks of group dating is too soon to know if you want to propose to someone. Nahhhh, couldn’t be.

Bachelor Ben - Finale.png

Lauren confirmed that she is not psychic because she’s not sure what is going to happen. Ben gave her a speech that sounded like it was the beginning of a break-up. Lauren cried herself to sleep because she finally remembered that there was someone else involved.

Ben told Jojo that he was confused so at least he was a little more honest with her. Jojo handled this so well and was like okay, tell me what you’re concerned about or what’s holding you back. He was like Totally. Ummm, nothing at all. K, thanks, so you just suck. They moved the conversation to the bathroom floor for privacy. Luckily, they get none of that on this show so we listened to him tell her that he told Lauren that he loved her, too. He was sobbing because he didn’t want to leave her. This was heartbreaking and this is when I said “If you pick Lauren, you made a mistake.” He was so obviously in love with Jojo. This was also the moment when I started to care about these two girls and like them, which always happens and I hate it.

Ben picked out a ring and Neil Lane asked him to describe the girl and he couldn’t because he STILL DIDN’T KNOW. This asshole was picking out a ring and he didn’t know who it was for. I hate him. Neil Lane was about to pack up and Ben was like wait, I do know who it is! I get to keep this ring, right? Yeah, totally, I’ll pretend I know.

Ben sent Jojo home right after he told her he was still in love with her….but…” Wow.He sobbed against a tree talking about how Jojo is his “best friend,” and she’s always the first person by his side when something is wrong. He never said anything like that about Lauren – just that she’s “beautiful” and “too good to be true.” I can’t wait for these two to have a reality check.

Ben called Lauren’s father to ask his permission before he proposed to her. I was livid at this point. Jojo, we were all blindsided. You ain’t crazy. As much as I hate this show, I usually tear up at the proposals because I do have a soul. This one? I looked at the TV disgusted the entire time. The whole thing seemed fake.

After the Final Rose

Chris Harrison asked Jojo if it helped her get over Ben to see hi`s love for Lauren. No, because it was not obvious that he loves her. She was so mature about it and told Ben she was happy for them. Where were your claws, girl? My entire Twitter feed consisted of people waiting for Ben to “pull a Mesnick.” If that’s not a sign that you made the wrong choice, I don’t know what is. We then found out that Jojo will be the next Bachelorette and I am so excited!

This is how I imagine it went down:

Producers: Ben, you need to pick Lauren so Jojo can be the next bachelorette.
Ben: But I love Jojo. She’s my best friend. I’m going to propose.
Producers: No. No one will watch Lauren as the bachelorette. Do it or Neil Lane takes back the ring.
Ben: Ugh, fine.

I was rolling my eyes for what felt like ten minutes straight listening to these two. They joked that they were going to get married right then and there. Instead, Ben proposed again to Lauren so he could do it in front of all of their family and friends. What an idiot. These two were made for each other.

I can’t wait for May. Show ’em how it’s done, Jojo.

  1. I’ll give em 3 months. They’ll break up and in a dramatic twist, Ben will be a contestant on Jojo’s season! Wouldn’t that be something haha. Damnit. I keep saying every season will be my last but now I need to watch Jojo’s… Sighhhh.

  2. I felt really bad for the pastor, not because he flew across the country (probably for free) but because they kept showing him staring awkwardly into the camera or fake walking down a hallway. Poor guy. I feel like if Jojo showed she was still upset at the after show, it would look really weird for them to announce her as the new bachelorette since they probably start filming that soon. Last thing, I think I saw on twitter last night that Juan Pablo wants a spot on Jojo’s season. Hahaha.

    1. I felt so bad for the pastor too – I can only imagine how ridiculous he thought the whole thing was. And I hate Juan Pablo but loveee making fun of him so I hope he’s on hahaha

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