Entertainment | Humor | TV

The Bachelorette Jojo, Week 2: The Rose Should Represent the Best Bachelors in the Country

May 30, 2016

Jojo thinks she needs the guys to be able to take care of her in case of an emergency situation so she made them put out fires last night. I guess actual firefighters won’t be necessary if Jojo’s house is on fire because she expects her husband to know exactly how to handle that.
Jojo Firefighter

Grant won the competition because he’s an actual firefighter. Go figure. He got extra time with Jojo and the camera panned the losers watching them walk away while the fire burned dramatically in he background. Grant told Jojo he’d never leave the house and not tell her he loved her before he left. Seems awfully presumptuous for week 2 but sure thing, bro.

Luke got a smooch on the balcony after chatting with Jojo about how he’s totes ready for a relationship. Wells got the date rose, which I’m assuming is because he nearly passed out on the date.

The guys back at the house were jammin’ out to a song cleverly titled “Jojo, where’d you go?” and I wanted to punch them all in the face. Chad was above everyone because he thought they were acting immature. I was actually with him on that one until he started acting like a horrible person. He warned everyone to stay away from the nice guys. Apparently the douche bags like him and Daniel are actually nice when you forget that they were using their luggage for weightlifting 2 hours prior.
Chad Luggage

Derek got the one-on-one date and they had to make choices on where they would go. Like a true relationship, deciding what to do is the biggest battle so I feel like this was pretty realistic.
Deciding Where to Eat

They ended up at the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco where they made out. Derektold Jojo he didn’t want to talk about his ex because he closed himself off after he was hurt. Does anyone not do this? Not a valid excuse, Derek. Jojo was like what a coincidence! I’ve been hurt before, too! And then he decided to tell her about his past relationship, but not really. All I learned about it was that his girlfriend decided she wanted to be with someone else. Thanks for the detail.

The guys went to ESPN for their group date. They were so excited and probably thought they’d be part of a show. Instead they had to ridiculous activities like have a contest for the best touchdown dance using a rose and follow it up with fake proposals. Chad was above this as per usual. I did understand his point that you can’t really say all the things you love about Jojo when you’ve known her for 24 hours, but you can just be rude and say it’s because you’re “honest.” I wonder if he knows there are ways to be honest without acting like a complete asshole. Apparently not.

Chad Proposal

Jojo got the impression that Chad was “overcompensating for something, but not sure what.” COME ON! I love when these idiots write this blog for me with obvious comments like that. We did find out that Chad’s mom passed away which I felt bad about. However, Chaz – your mom wouldn’t want you to act like a jerk, okay?

Jojo gave the rose to James and he was wondering if instead, it could be a recording contract with Sony. Honestly though, if I have to listen to that guy strum his guitar or sing an impromptu song one more time, I’m going to throw something at my TV.

The cocktail hour was weird and boring and I stopped paying attention. Chad was being judged for eating so much but honestly, more power to you, bro. Let’s relax on the food shaming, people. Everyone kept getting pissed because Chad was being Chad and kept talking to Jojo and I stopped watching because these guys are whiney babies.

The Bachelor Superfan was sent home. As was the Erectile Dysfunction Specialist. No one is worthy of me learning their names yet.

This better get good in the next few weeks. Until then, I leave you with this.

Chad Luxury Real Estate Agent.png

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