The Bachelorette Rachel, Week 7: Hometowns - The Snarky Scoop
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The Bachelorette Rachel, Week 7: Hometowns

July 18, 2017

Happy hometowns week! The first half of this episode was a freaking snooze-fest, unless you like meeting no-drama families and a guy who speaks Spanish (when you don’t). The second half, on the other hand, was heartbreaking.

Rachel met Eric’s family first in Baltimore where the focus stayed on the fact that he has never brought a girl home and has never been in love before. Who the hell cares? It sounds like he had a rough upbringing and was just trying to keep himself out of trouble after watching most of his family take a bad path in life. Give the kid a break – seems like he did okay for himself. Anyway, Rachel met his aunt and talked about the pressure of being the first black Bachelorette. We’ve watched like 16 hours of this show. Two minutes was focused on that – something legit – and the remaining 15 hours and 58 minutes I had to watch Lee and Kenny battle it out. Anyway, the meeting with Eric’s family went smoothly and they seemed to like Rachel. At the end of the night, Eric told her “The first time it came to me today. I was like ‘Damn, I really love this girl.’ What I mean by that is I really care about you, like a lot. I care about your well-being, I care about what you do in life, I care about who you are, and hopefully you feel the same.” Oh. I thought it meant “I love you,” but okay.

Rachel went to Miami next to meet Bryan’s family. Rachel lovesssss the jump and wrap your legs around whatever boyfriend you’re with that day shtick. Bryan took her to the “real” Miami where they played dominos and he spoke Spanish to the other players the entire time while Rachel sat uncomfortably, not understanding a thing he was saying. We get it, you’re bilingual. STFU BRYAN. Even still, she was smitten with this a-hole. Rachel was nervous about meeting Bryan’s mom because his last girlfriend didn’t get along with her. Bryan quickly said it was his ex’s fault, not his mom’s. Talk about a red flag. If he’s willing to throw his ex under the bus, he’ll do the same to you. RUN, RACHEL, RUN.

My suspicions were confirmed when we met his family. They said Bryan’s ex was “jealous” of his relationship with his mother and that was her “demise.” What, did you kill her? Either jealousy or she realized they were crazy. His mom kept saying things like “blood is blood,” “don’t mess with the mother,” and “he’s the love of my life.” When his mom told Rachel “you marry the family,” she said “I know. I expect him to become a part of my family too,” to which his mom responded with a blank stare. Olga also said she needed someone to take care of her son. What 37 year old can’t take care of himself? Bryan obviously feels the same as his mommy since he blamed his ex-girlfriend for everything. Bryan told Rachel he loved her and she was ecstatic. Ugh.

Rachel went to Madison, WI next and ran, jumped, and wrapped her legs around her boyfriend of the day, Peter. They met a bunch of Peter’s friends first who all loved Rachel, but Peter started to doubt if he was ready to propose. Peter, NO. You will not win if you act that way. 

Peter’s family was great. They (and him) seem the most normal. Please, don’t eff this up you guys. I said it once and I’ll say it again: PLEASE HAVE ADORABLE GAP-TOOTHED BABIES. He didn’t say he loved her. Ugh, death sentence.

Dean was up next for Rachel to jump on. 

Dean kept saying he was terrified to see his family and I felt so bad for him. Sure, his dad is different and this wasn’t a typical hometown what with the gong and weird food, but they were all so welcoming – at first. Dean’s father gave them each a feather as a symbol of Dean’s mother. I wish this date ended after that for Dean’s sake. They later talked one-one-one and Dean took the opportunity to have an intense conversation with his estranged father. This was of course a necessary conversation, but probably one you should have had before going in front of the cameras. I felt so terrible for Dean this whole time. He was really trying and got nowhere.

Rachel tried to talk to Dean’s father and he did for a minute but then walked away. He told her he wishes her well and she’s welcome to come back if she and Dean end up together. Dean told Rachel he was falling in love with her and she said she was falling in love with him, too. OH. EM. GEE. Scandalous. I’m still just confused about what happened after Rachel left. Like did Dean go back inside and sleep on the floor? I hope producers got this guy a hotel room for making him do this on national TV.

Chris Harrison came to talk to Rachel before the rose ceremony and he was like “what was so hard about this week?” Chris, are you even paying attention?! Did you not just see what happened?

Rachel ended up sending Dean home and basically said it was because she wasn’t sure if he was ready for a serious relationship. She’s probably right considering the crap he needs to figure out with his father but still so sad for Dean. Don’t say you’re falling in love with him a la Ben and Jojo!

I’m getting nervous that Bryan is going to be the one at the end of this and I will be mad at Rachel for the first time. Ughhhh.

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