Humor | Pregnancy

Offensive Pregnancy Comments

October 18, 2017

You always hear people talk about the offensive things that have been said to them while pregnant. Personally, whenever I heard them, I always thought there’s no way people are actually that stupid. But, they are. Over the past few months, I’ve compiled a list of the most ridiculous things that were said to me, and have added in what I wish I responded with. Most came from strangers or barely work acquaintances – as in, I didn’t even know their name.

When I told someone I was pregnant: “Well, that was quick.”
Well, that was rude.

“You’re still here!?”
Well, I’m 18 weeks, so.

“Not long now, huh?”
Just four short months. Literally half of my pregnancy left.

“Yeah, it’s realllyyyy obvious now,” accompanied with hand motions describing just how massive she thought my 22-week pregnant stomach was.
So is that pizza you just ate.

“You’re totally starting to walk differently,” followed by a waddle.
No bitch, I forgot my glide and I’m wearing a dress – so, chafing. Remember, I’m HUGE.

“Are you sure you’re going to make it until November!? HAHAHAHEHEHEHAHAHE”
Yes. But you might not if you say something like that again.

“You’re not just big this way, you’re big THIS way too,” complete with moving hands to show just how wide I was at 30 weeks.
(*I was starting to get fed up at this point and think I actually just walked away from her without responding).

“OH MY GOD. How are you feeling!? You look like you’re getting bigger by the DAY,” at 31 weeks.
So do you. What’s your excuse?

“November!? But you’re so big.”
Not as big as you, you POS.

I do have to throw in the one positive comment I received while pregnant (from non-family/friends. My fam and friends are the best and don’t talk to me like I’m a cow):

I was around 16-weeks when I told a co-worker who responded with “I knew you had to be! Since you have such a slender figure, you probably started showing right away.”

SLENDER. LOL.  Someone described me as slender. God Bless.

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