Holidays | Humor

Top 10 Best Halloween Candy

October 24, 2017

I originally published this in 2013, which is just confusing because I didn’t think I had been blogging for that long. How am I not famous yet!? Anyway, I’m really enjoying my Halloween candy lately and since we’re only a week away, I thought it would be fitting to re-post this literary masterpiece. However, I’m not really sure I still agree with this entire list. Top 1-3 are absolutely correct and I feel v strongly about that (if only I were this passionate about important things), but the rest I’m not so sure about.

Originally published October 23, 2013.


Halloween is fast approaching so I thought it was time to address the true meaning of this holiday: candy. The following is a list in very particular order.

Top 10 Best Halloween Candy

10. Butterfinger
The flavors are quite obviously phenomenal, but they sort of get stuck in your teeth, which is annoying.

9. Caramello
These do not get nearly enough recognition as they deserve

8. Starburst
Eh. I just felt weird having all chocolate on this list. These are more of a palate cleanser for all of the real delicious chocolate candy

7. Skittles
A step up from Starburst, but same idea.

6. Kit Kat
While delicious, these do seem to be lacking something.

5. Twix
Ah yes, they have the lovely caramel that Kit Kats lack.

4. Take 5
These are a newer addition to the scene, so I wasn’t lucky enough to have these in my stash when I trick-or-treated as a child, but now I’m an “adult,” with money* and I can buy all the Take 5’s I want.

3. Peanut M & M’s
Not to be confused with plain, or peanut butter. PEANUT.

2. Snickers
MIlky Ways and 3 Musketeers taste like poison compared to these wonders.

***DRUM ROLL****

BOW DOWN TO THE KING OF ALL HALLOWEEN CANDY

1. Pumpkin Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups

Bonus if you send this to me, along with some leggings…

Please note that these are not to be confused with regular Reese’s Peanut Butter cups since a suitable ratio of peanut butter filling to chocolate coating is crucial in securing their #1 spot. “Mini” pumpkins need not apply.

I tried to keep this positive, only listing the very best candy, but I have to address the horrendous wax masquerading as something edible. Can we all just agree that Candy Corn is disgusting?
It's neither candy nor corn.
I’d rather eat Whoppers.

*I don’t have that much money, so I can’t buy all the Take 5’s I would actually want.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

%d bloggers like this: