The Bachelor/Bachelorette

Sometimes it concerns me how much joy I get from judging everyone on the show. Here, I’ve compiled all of the seasons of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette that I’ve blogged about.

Bachelor Nick Viall

Week 1: Hussey, Balls, and Weiners
Week 2: Corn, Boobs, and We Hooked Up Nine Months Ago

Bachelorette Jojo Fletcher
jojo fletcher
Week 1: Damnnn I Hate Everyone
Week 2: The Rose Should Represent the Best Bachelors in the Country
Week 3, Part 1: Chad-Maggedon
Week 3, Part 2: Apparently Evan Just Bleeds Thinking About Me
Week 4: I Miss Chad
Week 5: Jojo Makes Her Own Rules
Week 6: Horse Fetishes
Week 7: Hay Couches, and Snow Picnics, and Glory Days, Oh My
Week 8: I’m Goo Goo Ga Ga Over These Guys
Week 9: Jojo Loves Her Ring!

Bachelor Ben Higgins
Bachelor Ben and Chris Harrison
Week 1: Horrible Person Destroys Perfectly Good Bread
Week 2: I’m Really Not Crazy
Week 3: I Have Cankles
Week 4: What Happens in Vegas…
Week 5: The Spatchuler
Week 6: Everyone Loves Ben
Week 7: I Wonder if Anyone is Scared
Week 8: Jojo Won’t Get Hurt Because Looks are Everything
Week 9: Ben Loves Everyone and I’m Bored
Week 10: Women Tell All
Week 11: Everyone is Blessed

Bachelorette Kaitlyn Bristowe
Bachelorette Kaitlynn
Week 1, Part 1: I’m Horned Up
Week 1, Part 2: Can’t Judge a Book by its Cupcake
Week 2: Originality is the Name of the Game
Week 3: Why Can’t We Go to the Zoo?
Week 4: Onions, Crazy Eyes, and Creepy Nick
Week 5: Kaitlyn Thinks She is the First Person to Value Honesty
Week 6: Nick is Disturbing
Week 7: No Ragrets
Week 8: Horn Dogs for Everyone
Week 9: No One Cares, Kaitlyn
Week 10: Men Tell All
Week 11: Hatred

Bachelor Chris Soules

Week 1: I Wish I Was a Polygamist
Week 2: Don’t Be Weirded Out, I’m Only Kind of a Stalker
Week 3: If You Can’t Beat ‘Em, Join ‘Em
Week 4: This is a Show for Bimbos
Week 5: I’m Having a Panic Attack
Week 6: I’m Smart, I Have My Master’s
Week 7: It’s So Small
Week 8: I’m Sweating and I’m Scared
Week 9: Women Tell All About Their Insecurities
Week 10: Some of the Happiest Moments of my Life Have Been Harvesting

Bachelorette Andi Dorfman
Source: wetpaint.com
Week 1: I’m a Hugger
Week 2: Stoppppppp
Week 3: I’ll Make Love to You (Or Make Out with Everyone)
Weeks 4 & 5: It’s Kind of Weird that it’s so Weird
Week 6: This is a Mannnnn
Week 7: When Will Someone Address the Fact that Andi is Selfish?
Week 8: My Giant Ego and My Heart Don’t Match Up
Week 9: Annoying Men Tell All Uninteresting Things
Week 10: Making Love, Fiance’ Style

Bachelor Juan Pablo Galavis

Week 1, Part 1: I is Practicing my Ingles
Week 1, Part 2: The Adventure has Begin
Week 2, Part 1: This Women are Amasing
Week 2, Part 2: I Laaah Sooprises
Week 3: Holy Moly Macaroni
Week 4: I Feel Like I’m in a Mice
Week 5: I’m Liking Her Heart
Week 6: Whoever Steps in the Most Poop Wins
Week 7: Clare is Like a Dog, She Peed on him First
Week 8, Part Juan: Welcome Home Pookie
Week 8, Part Dos: I No Know Dis Word
Week 9: Juan Pablo is the Worst and I want to be Special
Week 10: Eh, Me a Big Jerk

Bachelorette Desiree Hartsock
desrollerskate
Week 1: Everyone Sucks
Week 2: Mean Girls
Week 3: Cinderella Swaps a Lot of Spit
Week 4: Diseases Run Rampant
Week 5: Hi, Hollywood
Week 6: The Next Ben
Week 7: Poems, Metaphors, and Cliche’s…Oh My
Week 8: Brooks is Still Boring
Week 9: Men Tell All
Week 10: All the Cries
Week 11: 100% Stoopid

Bachelor Sean Lowe
sean-shirtless-balcony
Week 1: For the Love of Wine
Week 2: I Love the Beef
Week 3: Muscles, We Meet Again
Week 4: Spoiler Alert, Sean Still Has Abs
Week 5, Part 1: Claws Are Out
Week 5, Part 2: He’s Just Not that into You
Week 6: Nobody Can Take My Sparkle Away
Week 7, Part 1: There’s Pixie Dust Everywhere
Week 7, Part 2: Sean Tells All Information We Already Knew
Week 8: Unstable
Week 9: Women Tell All, (#WTA #Predictable)
Week 10: Choosing Between Two Wunnerful Women

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