Funemployment

The blog has been lacking (aside from The Bachelorette posts) and there’s really no reason for that since I’m still funemployed for the time being.

Tim and I are getting married in 67 days. What the what? Once the wedding is over, I don’t plan to continue my unemployment so I’m taking advantage of it while it’s here. I basically have the summer off and teachers do that yearly so it’s totally normal, right? Right.

I’ve been exploring my new city, eating pizza and ice cream, and doing wedding things. So, nothing has changed except I’m a more cheerful person without a blaring alarm waking me in the early morning.

There’s really no point to this post other than to have some sort of segue before I’m just like oh hey guys, here’s my DIY Cake Topper! (COMING SOON [Once Tim helps secure the dowels {but I’m not here to passive aggressively ask him to do that via my blog. (Just kidding. Of course I am.)}])

So, I will be blogging more, because quite frankly, WTF is my excuse not to right now?

I will leave you with this photo for an example of what NOT to do when ordering a photo guest book. (No, we are not traveling back in time to get married 2 years ago.) UGH.

The Bachelorette Jojo, Week 7: Hay Couches, and Snow Picnics, and Glory Days, Oh My

Jojo told us that she could see herself with any of the four guys but she was excited to meet their families so she could tell where she would fit in best. I guess she’s looking for the mom who drinks wine straight out of the bottle, just like her own (aren’t we all?)

The first hometown visit took Jojo to Colorado with Chase. They had a picnic on a snowy mountain for reasons I’ll never understand.Bachelorette Jojo Chase Mountain

Chase told Jojo that his parents were divorced so they would be doing separate activities with each of them. They met Chase’s father first and Chase asked him why it didn’t work out with his mom. His answer was something to do with spending a lot of time at work and not enough with her, but I was more concerned with why this hadn’t been asked sooner. Chase told us they divorced when he was eight, and he waited until his mid-20s to ask what happened on National TV? Sure.

They went on to meet Chase’s mom and the rest of his family and Jojo connected with his mom because she likes wine.

Chase talked to his sister about the word “love.” I feel like it could have been a really deep conversation but they were both way too awkward and uncomfortable. Chase told his mom that he’s ready to propose. He told Jojo he was falling in love with her and she was totes into it.

But not for long because Jordan’s hometown was up next in Chico, CA. Jordan took Jojo to his old high school to meet his football coach. Didn’t he say he doesn’t want to be remembered for his former football career. Doing it Wrong: 101. Jojo pointed out a photo of Aaron Rodgers and again pushed Jordan for more info on his famous brother. We got nothing, but I really appreciated her effort trying to find out “what went wrong” for all of us.
Jojo & Jordan High School

Jojo still went to meet his family even though she wouldn’t be meeting anyone famous which speaks volumes of her character. Jojo went on to question Jordan’s brother Luke and we got no information again because “it’s not something we talk about.” BUT WHYYYY? I need to know. Jordan’s mom told him that this could be his “destiny” so I guess she misunderstood what the show is about – hot tubs and feeling each other up. Jojo said Jordan “is nobody’s brother. He’s a man that I am falling in love with.” FALSE. HE’S AARON RODGERS’ BROTHER AND WE NEED TO KNOW WHY THEY DON’T SPEAK.

Robby took Jojo on a carriage ride through St. Augustine, FL while she wished she was with Jordan.
Jojo and Robby Carriage Ride.png

Jojo questioned Robby to make sure he was over his ex and she’s not just filling a void. He said his ex is in his past and he’s in love with Jojo. They went on to meet Robby’s family and his brothers said they liked her because “she can hang.” Jojo told Robby’s mom that she was falling in love with him and his mom reassured her that Robby would not be there if he didn’t truly love Jojo. But mama’s a liar because she then told Robby that his ex-girlfriend’s roommate was spreading “rumors” that he broke up with her to go on the show. He told Jojo about it and she was like just tell me the truth you asshole. He told her their relationship was “over before it actually ended.” *EYEROLL* Finally, “Hope,” the ex, slapped him and they had not spoken since. Jojo nodded and acted like that was a normal statement.

Luke took Jojo to his hometown in Texas and basically invited his entire town to meet her. This seemed like a great party and a fun family to be a part of but to have to deal with monotone emotionless Luke? Not worth it.Luke No Smile 2.jpg

Luke took Jojo to go horseback riding because this show can’t get enough of damn horses. They sat on a couch made of hay while Luke told her that he was falling in love with her without moving his lips. He then led her through candles to a giant heart of rose petals and awkwardly told her that his heart is hers. Jojo and Luke Heart

Honestly, my least favorite part about this whole thing is that they’re trying to set Luke up to be the next Bachelor. I need to get a petition started if that happens.

The rose ceremony was at an airport so the guys with roses could immediately leave the loser in the dust with Jojo to jet off to their fantasy suites. Jojo told us she needed to send Luke home and I was like HALLELUJAH, but then he asked to talk to her right before she was about to give out roses. He wanted to make sure the hay couch and candles and rose petals made it abundantly clear that he was in love with her. Turns out Luke is turning into a stage 5 clinger. For some reason this changed things and now Jojo wasn’t sure what to do. She was all set to send him home and now she’s not sure?? UGHHHH. DAMN YOU, LUKE.

They left it to be continued and I threw my drink at the TV.